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top 100 funniest jokes

hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!!!
(motion for girl to come here with one finger), "if i can make you come with this finger, imagine what i could do with all five!"
nice shoes, wanna fuck?
if i told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
fuck me if i'm wrong...but haven't we met before?
do you sleep on your stomach?  can i?
i wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.
are those real?
i may not be fred flintstone but i sure can make your bed rock.
(offer guy/girl a screw) wanna screw?
ya know, that shirt is very becoming on you......of course, if i was on you, i'd be cumming too.
the word of the day is legs, so let's go to my house and spread the word.
the only place i want to go is south of the border.
hey you want to know what i heard about you? fuck me and i'll tell you.
why don't you come over and we can do math in the bed; add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and i'll multiply.
what's a nice girl like you doing on a face like this?
nice dress, can i talk you out of it?
mmmmmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible"
so, do you want to see something really swell?
excuse me but is your last name "gillette"......cause you are the best a man can get!
hey baby.....can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
my shirt's chaffing me.....
excuse me miss, do you give head to strangers? (no) well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
they call me milk, because i do your body good.
i miss my teddy bear. would you sleep with me?
hey baby, wanna wrestle.
hi, do you want to have children? (assuming the answer is no) ok then, can we just practice?
you must be the limp doctor because i've got a stiffy.
i know milk does a body good, but damn, how much have you been drinking?
they say the best things in life are free....they lied( but i do accept american express)
this valentines day, i really want you to know how i feel.....so you better use both hands.
you can feel the magic between us......no, lower!
you're on my mind this valentine's day.....i'd prefer you on my bed.
this valentine's day i want you to know that i'm head-over-heels for you....and i know some other positions too.
i'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
you have 250 bones in your body, want another?
if you were the last woman and i was the last man on earth, i bet we could do it in public.
hey baby, can i tickle your belly from the inside?
wanna play army? i'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
girl, if you were a porch i'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
yo baby, i bust more nuts than a squirrel.
send out 6 copies of this within the next 96 hours or you will have bad sex for the rest of your life.

250 funniest office jokes, memos and ... book $11.01  drew carey - dirty jokes and beer - book $5.58

jack in the box man or bill clinton (animated pic)?
top 100 funniest jokes by brian taylor

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