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thoughts on beer

you can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

--frank zappa

always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

--ernest hemmingway

always remember that i have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

--winston churchill

he was a wise man who invented beer.


time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

--catherine zandonella

a woman drove me to drink and i didn't even have the decency to thank her.

--w.c. fields

sir, if you were my husband, i would poison your drink.

--lady astor to winston churchill

madam, if you were my wife, i would drink it.

--his reply

if god had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.

--david daye

work is the curse of the drinking class.

--oscar wilde

when i read about the evils of drinking, i gave up reading.

--henny youngman

beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.

--benjamin franklin

if you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, i  bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

--deep thought, jack handy

without question, the greatest invention in the history of  mankind is beer. oh, i grant you that the wheel was also a  fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well  with pizza.

--dave barry

the problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

--humphrey bogart

why is american beer served cold? so you can tell it from urine.

--david moulton

people who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer;  they just like to pee alot.

--capital brewery, middleton, wi

give me a woman who loves beer and i will conquer the world.

--kaiser welhelm

i would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

--homer simpson

not all chemicals are bad. without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

--dave barry

i drink to make other people interesting.

--george jean nathan

they who drink beer will think beer.

--washington irving

an intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

--for whom the bell tolls, ernest hemmingway

you're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

--dean martin

all right, brain, i don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and i'll get back to killing you with beer.

--homer simpson


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